IRRITABLE MALE SYNDROME

IRRITABLE MALE SYNDROME
By Jed Diamond
Rodale Inc., 2004
ISBN 1-57594-798-2
Review by George Pasley

I checked this book out of the library for some “self-improvement” (please don’t laugh so hard) and before long I wished I had purchased a copy for my pastor’s library.

Jed Diamond is a licensed psychotherapist who has read, researched and written extensively on issues of male mental health. This particular book is written not only as a researcher and therapist but as a man suffering from the problems he described.

The first portions of the book include anecdotal accounts of the syndrome, its effects, results and some possible treatments. As I read each anecdote I thought to myself, “I’m not THAT bad,” but I could recognize certain behaviors. More specifically, there is a quiz that can be used for self-diagnosis or by a relative/spouse/partner who is concerned about the man in their life. I took it online and was told I have the syndrome. Ouch!

The book contains much helpful information on hormonal causes of irritability, more helpful information on social and cultural causes of irritability, and more helpful information on evolutionary sources of certain behaviors. I found these insights all helpful.

More helpful though are certain chapters written to help spouses and parents help their loved ones address the issue.

Several chapters are devoted to treatment, primary emphasis given to exercise and the need for men to make connections (which was a theme throughout the book). Of particular interest was a study conducted by Rena Repetti at UCLA in which working parents were asked to fill out questionnaires about the events of specific workdays and their subsequent activities at home. “When there was conflict at work, dads took out their anger on their families at home.” (p. 141) In contrast, “The mothers in Dr. Repetti’s studies behaved quite differently. When the moms had a bad day, they were more involved and more affectionate with their children.” (p. 142)

Diamond believes that our evolutionary biology has built a threat response in women that he labels “befriending,” while the threat response in men is “fight.” But, “We can no longer engage in battle to defeat the threat…in the short-run we become hypersensitive, irritable, anxious and frustrated…in the long run, continuous stress, with no ability to relieve it, leads to breakdown and sickness” (p. 142). This insight serves as scientific basis for Diamond’s emphasis on Male support groups.

In a later chapter Diamond references Erik Erikson’s landmark work on human development. I had been exposed to this in my seminary studies, but Diamond’s use of it at this stage in my life allowed me to see some things I had not fully resolved and so I found it very helpful.

Of special interest to pastors is what Diamond calls “our daimons.” The word daimon is of Greek origin, meaning something larger and greater than our every day existence. Romantics may call it destiny but Christians will use the word Diamond prefers to define it, “calling.”

On the subject of our calling Diamond says that learning our calling may likely be a decades long process, but finding and pursuing our calling is essential towards the living of a fulfilling life. It was in this context that Diamond referenced Erikson.

It is quite possible that many who read the book will not subscribe to each of Diamond’s theories, but as a whole many insights and ideas should be helpful. This review has not touched upon all the possibilities discussed by Diamond, and other persons who read the book are sure to find many more nuggets of insight and helpfulness.

George Pasley
June 23, 2008